Goodbye, Thad

Friday morning, our phone rang before I was up. Hubby was already up, and I checked the caller ID. It was one of Hubby's high school friends. I didn't really think about it, rolled over and went back to sleep. Hubby came in the room and took a shower. He got dressed. I sat up in bed and Hubby said, "M. called a little while ago. Thad died this morning."

Thad was one of Hubby's best friends in high school. He learned to fly planes before he could drive, and flew cross-country as a 15-year-old. He had worked as a pilot in his twenties, then had been working with his parents and wife as a financial planner and stock-broker. Thad and his wife had two children, a boy and a girl. Things didn't work out, and they divorced, but continued to work together.

Thad was a fun person, upbeat and adventurous. He loved boating, and we didn't get to see him when we were in Pensacola this past Christmas because he was boating to Key West with friends to celebrate New Year's. We spent lots of time with him when we lived in Hollywood, FL in the late 90s, when Hubby and I were newlyweds and Thad was a pilot and flew out of Miami a lot. He had a drinking problem, but it seemed like he'd gotten things back on track when he married and had children. We spent time with him and his family in 2004 when we rented a beach house in Pensacola for the month of August, and I cherish those memories.

Then, the divorce happened, and it seemed like Thad was partying a lot. I don't know the whole story of his death. No one really does, since Thad was the only one there, but it involved a gun. His obituary says it was a tragic accident. Accident or not, it was truly tragic.

I hope Thad will find peace now. And I wish his family and children peace as well.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the reason Hubby is out of town, and this week when I've lost patience with the boys, or got annoyed that our kitchen faucet broke (yes, these things have to happen when my live-in plumbing expert is out of town!) or that Hutton ate cat food for the second time in as many days...I remember why Hubby is out of town and it helps me put things in perspective. Cat food and broken faucets are nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Every time I've been in the car since Friday, I'll hear a song, and sad or not, it will make me think of Thad and cry. Strangely enough, I haven't heard any Neil Diamond, one of Thad's favorites. He gave me and Hubby a double CD of Neil Diamond Live once. We don't really listen to it, but I think I'll pull it out this afternoon, to remember Thad singing along with his big sunny smile.

Yet More Sad News for the Autism Community

There was another drowning yesterday. Story here. Five-year-old Kaylie Dickerson drowned in a holding pond across from her house. There are lots of these holding ponds around here, but they put fencing up around them, presumably to prevent children from drowning.

I wish Kaylie's family peace as well, in this sad, sad time.

Putting Things in Perspective

I was reading Time magazine this morning, when I came across this startling statistic:

"33.2 Years of life expectancy for women in Swaziland, where the HIV infection rate is nearly 40% and life spans are the lowest on earth"

Thirty-three. That's how old I am now. If I lived in Swaziland, chances are good I'd be dead or dying, as would most of my peers. That's pretty crazy.

Speaking of horrible living conditions, I read the following on Kim's blog, then saw it on another online Autism group. It's long, but well worth reading. Autism is a huge, and growing, issue worldwide that needs to be faced. This really struck me:

We were in North Korea where their solution is to send children with autism upon the first symptoms to a remote institution where their life expectancy is less than 2 years. Most starve.

Even in 2nd world countries with strong economies -- lots of Starbucks -- conditions can be horribly bad - I have been in Autism institutions where these children are literally warehoused in shocking conditions.

You are permanently changed from the experience of walking through an institution and seeing 3,000 children with autism - some tethered to their beds lying in fecal matter as a result of chronic diarrhea and untreated medical problems.

Yep, reading that makes my own struggles to help Hutton with biomedical treatments for Autism seem no less important, but far more reachable. My hope is that the money going to Autism research will actually go that: real research with real solutions for a real problem.