Flippin' and Trickin'

Sunday night as I was flipping through the channels to see what was on, (and this was less than the normal amount, since our satellite dish is only getting half of what it should - Hubby, get on that, please!) I saw a show listed on the guide on the DIY channel called Tricked Out. Sounded interesting, for some reason, so I flipped over to DIY, and found it was a show about tricking out your car. Hmm.

Now my 2003 VW Jetta station wagon is slammin' already, so I don't really need to trick it out. I mean, it already has a new transmission from last month. Oh wait, that's not what tricking out your car is about. No, it's about adding all sorts of neat accessories to your car -- lighted wheel wells, wiper lights, and lights that shine messages on the rims when your car is moving were some of the oh-so-exciting things I saw on Sunday.

I just thought the show was kind of funny. I mean, the things I'm interested in for tricking out a car are mostly for comfort or making driving easier (see, a working transmission is kinda important there): heated seats and a GPS would be my tricks of choice. For the aesthetics, I'd go for not having road grime all over my car 99% of the time, and as little visible rust, dents and scratches as possible. So, in my view of trickery, my car is only very slightly tricked out, with the heated seats part. Oh, yeah, I used to have an Autism Awareness puzzle ribbon magnet trickin' out the rear end, but Hubby took my car through a carwash a few months ago and it disappeared in the wash. So, not much trickin' on my car, thanks.

I had already forgotten about the show when I was driving around town with Harrison yesterday. I ended up behind a small black car at a traffic light. The first thing I noticed was the "shocker" hand symbol on the bumper. It was very tastefully done in white on black, so blended in with the black bumper. Yeah, tasteful, that's it. Next, I noticed that the car was a Ford Focus. The Ford part was on the emblem. The Focus part I got from the custom brake light. Yes, someone tricked out his car so I could know it was a - WOW! - Focus. Well, it could have been an Aspire. That's one of the funniest names for an entry-level car, as in, "Aspire to drive a better car." I guess you can "Focus on driving a better car" with the Focus.*

The traffic light soon turned green, and the Focus took off like a shot, making lots of loud revving noises. Then it braked like a shot, with the "Focus" on the brake light lighting up again. (We were in three o'clock traffic, which is always stop and go in the downtown areas. Yes, it starts at 3 around here, aren't we lucky?) As I was stopped behind the car the second time, I noticed the dark tinted windows. I could barely tell anything about the driver, other than I assumed he was a super cheezeball (no offense, Gouda! This is cheeze with a "z"!) from the car he drove. I also noticed the enormous tailpipe, which I assumed was the cause of the loud revving noises. I could make a comment about how his large tailpipe was to make up for failings in other areas, but I try not to get all Freudian on my reader. If I hadn't had errands to run, and turned into the Home Depot, I'm sure I could have stopped and started behind Focus Guy a lot more and enjoyed his tailpipe music.

*Now, you may think I'm a car snob, but I'm not. I've driven my share of entry-levels cars: the 10 year old Honda Civic was my first car, then I moved on to a brand-spanking new Ford Escort for the 500 mile drive to college. I just think there's something silly in tricking out an entry-level car. I mean, you're investing all this money in cheezy lights so people know you're driving a Focus, when you could invest the money instead and buy yourself a nicer car in another year.

If anyone who has a tricked out car cares to comment, please do. Tell me about all the hot chicks you're getting, and how they like the shocker.