Bleh

One of those afternoons. I got to the bus stop to get Hutton late. The time got away from me, and when I noticed the time, it was 12:28 -- two minutes before the bus was due to arrive. I ran downstairs to get Harrison. I told him we had to get Hutton and started to put his shoes on. He had taken off his socks and didn't want his shoes on without those.

Eh. Tough nookie, cookie. Ran out with crying Harrison after me. Walked to the street and saw the bus already there at the corner. Grr. Held Harrison's hand and attempted to walk quickly. One time we were not at the bus stop, so the driver drove down our street, as there's more than enough room for the short bus to turn around across from our house, but no go today. I finally got to the end of the street, and the bus driver said, "What's your cell phone? I have the wrong one." I gave her my number. Then she said, "Can you please try to be on time? I've been here five minutes!" I said, "Sure. I thought you came at 12:30?" She said, "No, 12:25. Hutton is the first one off the bus, and it depends on how fast we leave school." OK. On Monday, the bus arrived at 12:45. Really. Tuesday it was after 12:30, as it was on Wednesday. But, no, I'll be there early.

The bus driver is normally nice, and has been commenting lately how much Hutton has progressed in the past year, which is great, but I was still annoyed by this. The bus driver gives the kids stickers in the afternoons if they're good on the bus, and usually gives Harrison one, too, which again, is nice of her. Today Harrison got a pirate sword sticker, but wanted the one Hutton already had on his hand when he got off the bus: a treasure chest with parrot. He started throwing another tantrum as we walked toward home, so I said, "Fine!" And tried to get Hutton's sticker, but ripped it. Great.

I checked the mail and Harrison had a fit about carrying the mail. I gave him a flyer to carry, and he then tripped and started crying. Deep breath.

Got inside and made the boys sandwiches for lunch. Went to look in Hutton's backpack. Found a book along with his homework tube (an empty Pringle's can covered in red paper that is used to send home notes and homework on the weekends, or Thursday, since there's no Kindergarten on Friday). I thought it was library day, since they hadn't announced that day yet, then opened Hutton's notebook to see, "Please send money or replace book Hutton ripped. He was squirrelly today. Is this is a pattern?" Great. I didn't know what that meant, as Monday he had a bad day, Tuesday and Wednesday were fine, and today was bad, apparently. Last week seemed fine, so no, teacher, I don't see a pattern, unless it's one of those weird ones like AAAABAAAAAAABAAB. Not really my kind of pattern. I'm not a math person, though.

But, I had thought Hutton was doing fine. Well, fine for a six-year-old with Autism. I mean, the bus driver has been raving about his behavior being so great, for crying out loud! Guess not. I started having a mini breakdown, crying and saying out loud, "Is this really my life?" Now, this wasn't really a bad day in the grand scheme of things, but I guess the fall weather (read: gray and dreary) is starting already and I'm just not glad to be back to the everyday crap after my weekend of single fun in NYC. Sigh. One day at a time, right?
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Another thing: Hubby told me Sunday night when he picked me up from the airport we were spending too much money again and needed to come up with a budget. Ugh. Well, the budget is a good idea, because I really don't see how we're spending lots of money. Let's see, I bought a plane ticket to my friend's wedding, and the wedding gift, and spent less than $100 in NYC. Most of the stuff I did was free or paid for, like the rehearsal dinner and wedding. I stayed with my friend and her husband, which saved a lot on a hotel. Other than this trip, I made a trip to San Francisco in July, and stayed with friends, again, but the boys and I did not visit family this summer, as we normally do. My mom and Hubby's mom came to visit us instead. Other than these two trips, the boys and I went to the movies once, to the state fair one afternoon, and to a farm with carnival rides one time for entertainment this summer. The only things I buy with Hubby's (read: our) money are groceries, and coffee for my secret shopping, which is reimbursed. I bought some toys for Hutton's birthday with a gift card from my mom. I got a new dress for myself to wear to the wedding with another gift card from my mom. Other than that, I spend money on Hutton's ABA therapy - the 20% not covered by insurance - and his vitamins and supplements, which are pretty expensive, but not crazy. I bought some back to school clothes for Hutton at Old Navy, and my mother bought some clothes for Hutton and Harrison when she came to visit. We go out to eat - at a hot dog place - once a week. I go to the library for most of my books, but do buy a couple books or CDs every now and then, using my secret shopping money. I pay about $400 a year to play on my soccer team, which averages $33 a month. There's fuel for the car and other incidentals. We don't spend extra on HBO anymore. (In fact, our TV doesn't work at all right now. Just in time for the fall season!) But, all together, I really don't see how we're living so lavishly that Hubby's pretty good salary can't cover everything. I feel like I lived higher on the hog when I was single and making less than $30,000 a year. Then again, I could spend my salary on just me then, and we didn't have to pay a mortgage and to feed a family of four. Oh yeah, and two dogs and two cats.

Sigh. It's cold in my house. Waah. Enough whining. Time to go try to make myself happy.