The Spawn Of Satan Returns

Friday started out well. I took the boys to the University of Washington for Hutton's ABA therapy, and made it on time! I thought I'd be late, but there was no traffic. Then, I had cash to pay for parking. If you pay the $11 in cash, you can get a refund of $5 when leaving. So, instead of paying 11 freaking dollars to park for an hour and half, you only have to pay $6. What a bargain, huh? I've had to pay the entire $11 several times, though, when I don't have enough cash, as I tend to run out of cash by the end of the week. Did I really need those lattes? Well, this week I was good and drank my lattes at home. (Plus, I had cash from doing a "Fieldwork Seattle" music study last week. I went in on two days, for two hours each time. I listened to a tape filled with 5 second snippets of songs and rated them. It was a fun, kid-free event that was like a trip down memory lane, listening to songs I'd forgotten about. And getting paid $125 in cash was nice, too.)

So, a good start to the morning. Then after talking to Hutton's therapists for a few minutes, I left them to do their work, and Harrison and I went for a walk, to enjoy a beautiful, rain-free day. We walked along the water (the Montlake Cut behind the UW, which connects Lake Union to Lake Washington) and looked at the ducks and geese. We walked up a big hill, then went to the hospital to get some snacks to take to Hutton's next appointment: the nutritionist. Everything was great. Harrison was in a good mood, though getting tired from the walking. I should have known that things wouldn't get any better.

We picked up Hutton and headed for the nutritionist's office, south of downtown Seattle. Of course, traffic had picked up by then, parking was a bigger issue (though cheaper!) and we were 10 minutes late for the appointment. Still, nothing too bad. Harrison and Hutton played relatively nicely while the nutritionist and I discussed the GFCF diet, and probably cutting out corn as well in January. Then, it was time to go. I started asking Harrison to clean up the toys and crayons he had spread all over the floor five minutes earlier. I repeated my request for the fifth time, and the nutritionist asked him to clean up, nicely, as well. No go. Harrison kept yelling out, "I clean up!" but not doing so. I started to put some crayons away. That did it. The Spawn of Satan replaced my child instantly. It thrashed around, spreading the crayons and toys everywhere. The nutritionist gave me a look of terror, and told me he'd happily clean up the toys after we left. I agreed that was the best thing to do. My good son and the Spawn of Satan accompanied me out to the lobby, son walking, SOS being carried sideways, screaming and thrashing. I quickly made a second appointment with the nutritionist, which I will probably cancel now, as I don't think I want to be seen in his office again after our last appearance. SOS's face was bright red from screaming, "Clean up crayons! Go to doctor's office!" I kept telling him he didn't clean up the crayons, that it was too late for that now. We had to leave.

I carried him to the elevator, making small talk with another passenger who tried to look like she wasn't terrified for her life. We made it to the car. SOS convinced me to let him walk for a moment, but then I carried him again when he attempted to run back to the elevators, to go "clean up crayons. Go doctor's office!" still screaming hysterically and red-faced. Hutton got into his seat quickly, his hands covering his ears. SOS writhed and bucked as I attempted to get him into his carseat, still screaming about the crayons. I was cursing under my breath by now, telling SOS that he COULD NOT go back to the doctor's office, that the crayons were cleaned up already, etc. I was wondering if I could bribe him with something, when a woman approached, wide-eyed with fear. I looked at her, with my, "Please don't tell me my son is disturbing you. Can't you see I'm about to lose it and go mental?" look. But she didn't complain. Maybe she'd seen the Autism Awareness sticker on my car, and thought this screaming SOS was the Autistic one. She simply said, "If I can help you in any way, just let me know." By then I had pressed SOS's writhing pelvis into his seat using all my strength, and strapped him in. "Oh, he's just being a two-year-old!" I replied with total false-cheer. "Thank you!" I slammed the door, she walked away, and I got into the car to the still roaring, red-faced SOS. After I paid for parking, and had driven north to get back to the 520 bridge, I had devolved to screaming, myself. Answering SOS's screams with my own, "We're not going back to the effing Doctor's! You DIDN'T PUT THE CRAYONS AWAY! IT'S TOO EFFING LATE FOR THAT!" Good times. SOS stopped screaming abruptly in Bellevue, as he'd passed out. When the child woke from his nap two hours later, sweet Harrison had returned.

I have learned that scheduling two of Hutton's appointments back-to-back, when Harrison is due for a nap, without lunch in-between appointments, is a very, very BAD IDEA.