Melancholy Mama

Today is one of those melancholy days around here. It's the first day of November, the leaves are on the far side of pretty -- the trees are either half-leaved or have lost them, so they look bare and cold. Just a few days ago, when I went with Hutton's class on a field trip, the trees still looked very pretty, with lots of red, yellow and orange leaves. Once the leaves go, and the rain starts, the late fall blues are not far behind! Considering tomorrow daylight saving ends, too, I know on Monday we'll be walking to the school bus in the dark.

Today, I dropped Hubby off at the airport, which is another reason for melancholia. He's going to Barcelona for a week; he'll be giving several talks at some conference. We'd talked about everyone going at one point, but after our summer of vacation spending (Disney World and California) and the fact that Hutton will already be missing several days of school so we can go out of town for Thanksgiving (another expenditure, as well), we decided against it. I do feel sad to be left behind, though, and although a few days here and there of solo parenting are fine, a whole week is hard, especially when it's fall.

Another thing, is that Hutton and I (and Harrison a few times) have been spending time in the hyperbaric chamber, which is where I am now! This is great, in that I have high hopes it will have positive results for Hutton, but also tiring, as on school days, I have to get up at 6 a.m. so we'll have enough time to get a session in before school. The protocol calls for two 90 minute sessions a day, with at least 6 hours between sessions, and the 6 a.m. session, and one after school, works best with keeping our schedule as close to normal as possible. After waking up at 6 a.m. since Monday, though, I'm getting worn down. Although Hutton and I sleep during the morning sessions in the chamber, it's cramped and not exactly restful when we're both trying to share a pillow, and Hutton is a wriggly sleeper. So snoozing is more of a description of what goes on. This weekend I plan to do a lot more sitting on my butt and sleeping in to recover.

The past week was tiring in that it was the build to Halloween, as well. Thursday, Hutton's class had a field trip to a local farm, where there's a pumpkin patch, hay maze, corn maze, and petting zoo. I chaperoned, along with several other parents, which was fun, as I missed the trip with Harrison's preschool. Friday, Hutton had two Halloween parties I helped with. The first was the mainstream first grade class Hutton eats lunch with. They had a cute art project, but otherwise, I preferred Hutton's "real" class party. I know the teachers and other parents and kids in there.

Oh yeah: Crush alert! There's a father of a fellow student in Hutton's class I've seen several times over the years. His daughter was in Hutton's kindergarten class a few years back, and I've seen him at various class functions, including the field trip on Thursday. But yesterday was different. Why? you may ask. Well...he was in uniform! The man is a cop. I never thought I was into that, but seeing a normal looking guy suddenly transformed into crush material in just a day was pretty impressive. I don't know if it was the gun and clips in the holster, the badge, the tight pants.... Anyway, his wife was there, too, and she's very nice, as is the husband (I mean, he's at an elementary school Halloween party, for god's sake!), and I did my best not to stare. I did make a stupid joke to him about liking his Halloween costume. Duh. Hey, another mom in the class said the same thing later on, so I guess I'm not the only one.

Friday night, Hubby and I took the boys trick or treating at the outdoor mall. We joked about how it was just like when we were kids. (No, not really. I had a great trick or treating neighborhood growing up, and we'd spend hours trick or treating on Halloween.) Our neighborhood now isn't good for trick or treating (no street lights, a few houses spread too far apart), and the boys had a great time at the mall (Harrison pronounced it the best day ever -- hey, he's only 4!) even though some of the stores gave out lame candy, or worse, stickers. The boys didn't seem to mind, and Hutton did a great job of saying "Trick or treat!" and following up with "Thank you!" after getting candy. (Though I was reminding him often.) After trick or treating, we went out to dinner at a Thai restaurant. Plus, one of the mall restaurants gave us a $20 gift card with the boys' candy, so Hubby and I will have to go back on a date.

After the boys went to bed, we watched The Fifth Element on BluRay. Hubby got it from Netflix, as he's been trying to rent good BluRay type films since he just got the fancy new equipment (he bought a new, bigger TV as well, that we don't really need and can't really afford right now. Hey, we're doing our part to help stimulate the economy!) About halfway in, I leaned over and said to him, "You know this movie is visually stunning, but seriously sucks." Hubby agreed, and we laughed about that as the movie continued and got weirder and suckier.

So, that's what's been going on this week. Man, I have to pee, and have 15 more minutes of HBOT time. Can I make it? I gave myself a UTI by waiting too long/running to many errands without stops last week, so I'm pressing my luck.

We Survived Satan's Day of Play!

Hutton in the top half of his costume, or a pirate on casual Friday
Playing bingo at school
Halloween still life with gluten, corn and dairy free rice crispy treats
Cheeky little monkey Harrison
Halloween has come and gone, and we're all here and mostly OK! The title of my post is in reference to a book my BFF shared with me (quite sarcastically mind you!) entitled, "Mommy, Why Don't We Celebrate Halloween? BFF had bought a bunch of Halloween books on ebay, and this little gem was included. I found the book quite amusing, yet horrifying, in that some Christians actually believe Halloween is a devil worship festival and not a fun cultural fall fest handed down by those of Celtic/Irish descent. Well, bring on the pagan ritual, I say!

The Halloween Party Dillemma -- see this post if you don't know what I'm talking about! I found a babysitter on Craigslist (note, the party was thankfully before this sad, sad story happened. Way to make it even harder for people to find babysitters, you crazy douchbag!). I had waited until the last minute, of course, as I think I was secretly trying to undermine myself finding a sitter. But, a week or so before, I started looking, and had about six people say no, so I did look! And it paid off - Sierra was wonderful with Hutton. At the party, there were some kids' activities set up downstairs, and a movie playing upstairs, but Hutton preferred mostly to play hide and seek - going between the same two spots with Sierra following after a few moments. I got to have two drinks and wear a stupid costume. Fun. Afterwards, though the party was fun, it wasn't all that exciting. I only knew a few people there, and after all the turmoil and second-guessing I went through, I don't know if it was really worth it! But I did get to focus some energy on costume-making, which is always fun. Here I am as Dora on Saturday night. I made Hubby dress as the man with the yellow hat from Curious George. And then, since I didn't get a chance to take his picture Saturday, I wore his costume last night for trick-or-treating. So, here I am in drag. Well, sort of. The pants from the costume are actually women's pants, as are the boots. You can't tell, but they're high heel boots ("Sexy boots!" as my BFF said) that a real man in a yellow hat wouldn't be caught dead in. Actually, the man with the yellow hat may prefer to wear women's boots in the comfort of his apartment, or house in the country, and I don't judge him for that. He does live with a monkey, after all!

Halloween Pictures - Uncostumed

Some post trick or treating pictures, or what I like to call, "Sugar High"Crazy Eyes 1
Crazy Eyes 2
Harrison putting Crazy Eyes Glasses on Curious George, while Hutton blows Harrison's hair with light-up ghost fan
Earlier in the day, when Harrison preps for Crazy Hair Day at school.

Friendship...or the Lack Thereof

Something has been weighing on my mind lately. It involves of all things, a Halloween party.

Back story: We have been "friends" with another couple, the Xes, for several years, since we met them on a ski trip the winter after we moved to Washington. We don't hang out that frequently now that both couples have kids, but see each other a few times a year at parties or other get-togethers. Over the years, they have invited us to their annual Halloween parties. Several months ago, Hubby and Mr. X started working together in the same department. Hubby actually told Mr. X about the job. So, they are seeing each other more and are closer friends than they used to be.

Now, onto the weighty issue. This year, we received an invitation to their Halloween party in the mail. I was excited to go. Figure out what the boys would want to wear, come up with costumes for Hubby and myself, you know, the regular party deal. Soon after, Hubby asked if we'd received an invitation, and I told him we had. He then said, "So I was talking to Mr. X., and he mentioned that last year, the babysitters they hired to watch the kids at the party had a hard time dealing with Hutton. So, he asked if we could bring a babysitter for him." I gave Hubby the death glare I wished I could have given Mr. X, but since I couldn't transmit the glare through Hubby, it didn't do much. After a moment of glaring, I said, "Yeah, we weren't invited to their party last year." Hubby said, "Oh, then I guess the year before..."

Hmm. We weren't invited to their party last year. I had invited them all to Hutton's birthday party that summer, but only Mr. X and the younger son showed up. And we hadn't been invited to the party, so I had conned myself into believing maybe they weren't having a party that year, but I think I really knew and felt bad that we weren't invited. But now I know why. Because "the babysitters had trouble with Hutton."

This makes me both angry and sad. I am angry that we are made to feel obligated to hire a babysitter to accompany us to a party, when there will already be babysitters there. But, because our son is apparently so hard to handle, we need to hire one-on-one help. Now, if my BFF had brought this up, I really don't think I'd have a problem with it. If she said, "You know, it might be kinda loud and get crazy at the party, so do you think we should hire a babysitter to keep an eye on Hutton?" I wouldn't blink an eye. I'd probably say, "That's a great idea!" In fact, we did just that at her son's first birthday party this year, as it was a month after Hutton ran away from an outdoor birthday party. So, it makes sense, and I can see why they suggested it, but I still feel angry. I guess I can see how much Hutton has progressed over the summer, and I don't really think he'd need an extra one-on-one sitter to watch him at a party, where both of his parents will be present, as well as at least two babysitters hired by the host family.

And then the sadness kicks in. I feel sad that this is what we have to expect from this family in the future. And I'm sure they won't be the only family of "NTs" who feel this way, who won't want my autistic son at their party unless he is completely reined in by an adult who can devote full attention to him only. I really just wanted to go have fun at a party, but now I don't think I'll be able to do that, knowing we're being silently judged with our "crazy" child running amok.

So, after mulling this over more than it probably needs mulling, I've come up with a lot of cons to attending this party, including that hiring a babysitter, at $20 hour for three hours or so, is going to be a lot money, and Hubby says we need to budget. If we're going to spend that on a babysitter, I'd rather go out on a date than to a Halloween party. In addition, I'll be watching Hutton regardless, to make sure he doesn't eat something he shouldn't. I really don't trust others with this, since apparently one of his teachers has already forgotten about his food issues within a month, and gave him a graham cracker the other day. So, if I'm going to be watching him carefully to make sure he doesn't eat something he shouldn't, why should I pay someone else to watch him, too?

After thinking of these cons, I've come up with the following options:

1. Suck it up. Hire a babysitter and attend party. Pretend to be happy to be there, so Hubby, who will actually enjoy being there, can have some time with his friends.

2. Tell Hubby I couldn't find a babysitter, so he and Harrison should go, and Hutton and I will stay home.

3. Hire a babysitter, have her stay here with the boys, then attend party. Tell hosts, "Well, since we're spending $20 hour on a babysitter, I figured I'd rather the boys get to bed on time. And Hutton has food allergies, so I didn't trust him to not have an infraction, anyway."

4. Have Hubby go to party solo. He can tell the hosts whatever he wants. (My wife hates you now. My family all has small pox....)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, what do you think? What would you do? Am I being unreasonable and touchy? Or am I just feeling something only a fellow touchy Autism mom could understand? Give me a vote in your comments!

And I was really getting excited about this Halloween party. I have a great costume idea for myself, but it will remain a secret until Halloween, provided I actually dress up.

Save Me Some Rolos

Lina had eaten all of the Rolos from the bowl of Halloween candy, and was ready for bed. As she was blowing out the jack-o-lantern on her porch, she heard someone call, “Trick or Treat!”

She turned and saw a ghoul approaching. Lina reached for the bowl of candy, now containing only Necco Wafers and the tell-tale Rolo wrappers. The ghoul looked into the bowl, met Lina’s gaze, then grabbed the bowl, quickly slitting Lina’s throat with its sharp metal edge. As the ghoul ripped Lina’s ear from her skull, it whispered, “You should have saved me some Rolos.”


The above "story" is for this contest:


Write your own 99 word story and enter here!

Bad Candy

I was doing some research this afternoon for something I'm writing [I'll post what I write in a few days, and you'll realize this isn't quite as impressive as it sounds], when I came across this site.

As Halloween is approaching, this is the time of year when candy is becoming more important to everyone. Please be sure to visit this site to make sure you're not responsible for giving away, or, God forbid, eating any bad candy this Halloween. Bad candy may sound like an oxymoron, but it is a horrifying reality you must do your best to avoid. Not everything sold labeled "candy" is made of delicious chocolate, you know.

Be sure to see this site for some gross candy to avoid, and Allie's posts on this topic, as well.