Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I Don't Get It

I saw an ad on TV last night for Femcon , the "only chewable birth control pill."

"Sometimes it’s hard to establish a routine – the same time is just not the same every day." OK. They're marketing these as being so amazing because you can carry them around and take them wherever! A birth control pill you can chew! Because those other pills are just so enormous you couldn't possibly swallow them? What the smurf is wrong with people? A regular birth control pill is tiny. If you have trouble swallowing those, you may have other issues in bed, if you know what I mean.

To give these "WTF is wrong with you people" the benefit of the doubt, maybe they need a full glass or water to take with their tiny little pills, and having water with you is sooo inconvenient. I mean, if you have to take a tiny little pill without water, it might get stuck in your tiny little esophagus and dissolve instantly and leave an icky taste. Oh no! The horror! Someone really needs to come up with a chewable birth control pill STAT! Much more important than curing diseases. Oh, phew! They've done it! Chewable birth control pills. Thank you pharmaceutical companies! Don't worry about curing diseases or figuring out how to make flu vaccines without mercury. Not important. These little birth control pills taste like spearmint! Awesome!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmm. I just went to the site for Femcon, and read this:


Femcon Fe offers an option for women with busy lives - spearmint-flavored pills that can be swallowed or chewed.* Now you can take your pill at the same time everyday, anywhere you happen to be. Femcon Fe is effective and reliable whether swallowed or chewed.*

*Immediately followed by a full glass (8 oz.) of liquid.


Yes, that's right, you STILL need to take them with a full glass of liquid. So, how does chewing a pill, followed by a full glass of water, versus swallowing it with a full glass of water drastically improve the lives of busy women? And if you're a lazy slob of a woman, who just wants to chew a tasty spearmint pill, can you still take these?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes but I bet your breath is nice and fresh! Just what a girl wants tee hee, KWIM;-)??

Anonymous said...

I saw this same ad at the gym. So basically I couldn't hear the ad but saw it on one of their TVs. I didn't get it either. I actually thought it was a b/c pill that you take several times throughout the day before their banner came up at the end. Weird!

BBF

Maddy said...

oooo you big rudey you! Are you really saying that you're supposed to take the pill with a glass of water? Is that true? What happens if you don't [or rather didn't ever] Could tea count instead? If you didn't take the pill with water would this account for the birth of 4 children? My brain is beginning to overheat! In the alternative, could the tea have made the pill ineffective with the same 4 children results?
Actually, on second thoughts I don't think I really want to know.
Cheers

Anonymous said...

"Other issues in bed!" I'm roaring! I can swallow a HORSE sized Nordic Naturals so isn't MY hubby a lucky boy! The spearmint chewable is available because Americans under the age of oh, 30 maybe have remained infantile for the most part. They drink "Redbull and vodka" and call that drinking. Ever tasted Redbull? It's a liquid Sweetart - period. Chewable spearmint because you're JUST TOO STUPID FOR GROWN UP PILLS!

Anonymous said...

So Angry: bubble-gum birth control is next, maybe with collector cards . . . "Birth Control Through The Ages" from chastity belts to candy, yum!

Anonymous said...

Clara, I hope that's your real name. I love the name Clara. Here's the ad campaign: "Bubble Gum Birth Control, for when you're ready to move past just blowing."

Geez, I really AM angry tonight, aren't I?

Laura said...

Oh my! Clara (and yes, Kim, that is her real name!) I LOVE your collector cards bubble gum birth control idea! Think how cool that will be in middle school! I mean, high schoolers are soo past that. They've moved on to Red Bull & Vodka, right Kim? And Kim, your logo is awesome. Let's get this into production! We'll make millions!

McEwen - I just took a sip of water with my pill, back in the day. I don't know if tea counteracts the pills, but some antibiotics do, so if you were popping those for anything....

-Expert knowledge from the "oops!" baby of Mom & Dad

Schmoop said...

Ha...This reminds me of the Boniva commercial with Sally Field. "My friend has to set aside time once a week to take her osteoparosis treatment." Helloooooo it's a pill. I did not know it is so tough to set aside six seconds a week to take your pill.

Milehimama @ Mama Says said...

I thought they DID have a chewable birth control pill - garlic, all natural and guaranteed to turn him off.

Anonymous said...

Wow Kim you are a marketing genius! I'm ready to start enticing the young un's.

And yes, My Real Name is Clara, NOT Carla, NOT Clare(people are alwyas getting it wrong).Thanks for asking!

Laura said...

Milehimama - LOL! Or, even better, "Just Say NO!" It worked so well with keeping teens off drugs in the 80s, right? ;)

Now, Matt-Man, women have a hard time taking pills, obviously! I mean, you have to remember to take them, then actually take them, then remember you've already taken them, repeat...Oh it just makes my little female brain hurt!

Now, on the other hand, if you saw the amount of supplements I have to get into Hutton every day...I wish they'd come up with a One-a-Day autism chewable! It'd be the size of a hockey puck, but if they did the right gluten, casein, soy and corn free flavor, imagine how easy life would be! We'll make that our second item after the bubble gum BC. How do you like the name Cool Drugz for our company? Kim? Clara (or is it Carla? ;) ? Are you guys in or what?!

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