Catch Up With the Greasy Headed Ho

I had the weirdest dream of the week last night. I was playing soccer on a snowy field with the cast of American Idol. I was pissed at Sanjaya - boy can't do a throw in to save his life! Told him to throw it UP FIELD not back towards our goal. Idiot! Then the team all got distracted and ran off to practice singing or something. I then slid over a snowy ramp and fell into a cold river, and had to go find some clothes to put on, because for some reason, I took my clothes of immediately. I realized I didn't really belong on AI -- I really didn't think there even was a Laura on the show -- and looked in all the rooms of the compound for anything that might reveal where I was staying so I could find something to wear. I saw a room where someone was getting her hair and makeup done, and thought maybe I could ask if there was an outfit I could wear, but since I was naked and all...

I woke up in a cold sweat soon after.
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That dream was on Sunday, but I saved it for "filler material". Weird, since last night I actually played soccer and American Idol was on. Guess those two have a pretty good subconscious half-life. I was late to soccer thanks to afternoon traffic making Hubby late, and further evening traffic making me late. Once I got on the field, it seemed I was in for a clutz fest. I was trying to beat an opposing player to a ball heading out of bounds and we collided, I landed hard on my hip, elbow and hand on the "all weather sand" they still use on half the fields around here, since grass gets trashed really quickly in the wet weather. The "sand" was the consistency of really crumbly concrete, and scraped my elbow skin off. Fortunately my ass was more padded and my hand was OK. And because I took one for the team, the ref even gave us the throw-in. Later, in the second half, I was chasing another opposing player who had the ball near our goal. As the ball went out of bounds, the player threw up her hands in despair and punched me in the eye and nose in the process. Fun. Actually I think I used another "F" word at the time. Hey, there weren't any kids around. Fortunately, my eye only watered for a minute, and I only have the one mark on my elbow from my game yesterday. And I must say, my team played a whole lot better than the American Idol team did in my dream, even though we still lost by one.

True confession time: Last night I peed in the bathtub. It's not as gross as it sounds, really. OK, it is. Well, I was taking a bath, sipping some hot tea and reading a book, and just had to finish the book. The water was growing cold, I'd finished my tea, and I needed to pee, but kept reading. I finally got up to dry off, and realized I wasn't going to make it downstairs to pee. (Our master bath toilet is still broken -- the replacement flapper ball didn't fit, and Hubby turned off the water to the toilet so it wouldn't run constantly.) The water was already draining down the tub, and the sound of it made it unbearable, but it's not like I peed in the water I was lying in. I just happened to "accidentally" pee while I was stepping out of the tub, and there was plenty of water left in the tub to dilute the pee. Plus, I cleaned the tub out afterwards. Sigh. Now I've become a gross person who sees any drain as a potential pee disposal area. I promise it won't happen again! I'm going to pee before I get in the tub next time, no have a big cup of tea while bathing, etc. I'll just blame it on the fact that Hubby hasn't fixed the toilet. Yep, anything involving plumbing falls under his domain. I can unstop a toilet or unclog a sink as well as the feisty housewife, but I don't do the big fixes.

Oh, and my title. Obviously a reference to the big Don Imus debacle, but also to the fact that I haven't washed my hair today, and now I'm already dressed and don't want to go back and take another shower so I can wash it. (I was in a rush to get dressed to take Hutton to the bus.) So, overall, this post is not presenting me in too flattering a light, is it? Oh well, I'm just being honest with my "audience."