Thursday, January 25, 2007

Flippin' and Trickin'

Sunday night as I was flipping through the channels to see what was on, (and this was less than the normal amount, since our satellite dish is only getting half of what it should - Hubby, get on that, please!) I saw a show listed on the guide on the DIY channel called Tricked Out. Sounded interesting, for some reason, so I flipped over to DIY, and found it was a show about tricking out your car. Hmm.

Now my 2003 VW Jetta station wagon is slammin' already, so I don't really need to trick it out. I mean, it already has a new transmission from last month. Oh wait, that's not what tricking out your car is about. No, it's about adding all sorts of neat accessories to your car -- lighted wheel wells, wiper lights, and lights that shine messages on the rims when your car is moving were some of the oh-so-exciting things I saw on Sunday.

I just thought the show was kind of funny. I mean, the things I'm interested in for tricking out a car are mostly for comfort or making driving easier (see, a working transmission is kinda important there): heated seats and a GPS would be my tricks of choice. For the aesthetics, I'd go for not having road grime all over my car 99% of the time, and as little visible rust, dents and scratches as possible. So, in my view of trickery, my car is only very slightly tricked out, with the heated seats part. Oh, yeah, I used to have an Autism Awareness puzzle ribbon magnet trickin' out the rear end, but Hubby took my car through a carwash a few months ago and it disappeared in the wash. So, not much trickin' on my car, thanks.

I had already forgotten about the show when I was driving around town with Harrison yesterday. I ended up behind a small black car at a traffic light. The first thing I noticed was the "shocker" hand symbol on the bumper. It was very tastefully done in white on black, so blended in with the black bumper. Yeah, tasteful, that's it. Next, I noticed that the car was a Ford Focus. The Ford part was on the emblem. The Focus part I got from the custom brake light. Yes, someone tricked out his car so I could know it was a - WOW! - Focus. Well, it could have been an Aspire. That's one of the funniest names for an entry-level car, as in, "Aspire to drive a better car." I guess you can "Focus on driving a better car" with the Focus.*

The traffic light soon turned green, and the Focus took off like a shot, making lots of loud revving noises. Then it braked like a shot, with the "Focus" on the brake light lighting up again. (We were in three o'clock traffic, which is always stop and go in the downtown areas. Yes, it starts at 3 around here, aren't we lucky?) As I was stopped behind the car the second time, I noticed the dark tinted windows. I could barely tell anything about the driver, other than I assumed he was a super cheezeball (no offense, Gouda! This is cheeze with a "z"!) from the car he drove. I also noticed the enormous tailpipe, which I assumed was the cause of the loud revving noises. I could make a comment about how his large tailpipe was to make up for failings in other areas, but I try not to get all Freudian on my reader. If I hadn't had errands to run, and turned into the Home Depot, I'm sure I could have stopped and started behind Focus Guy a lot more and enjoyed his tailpipe music.

*Now, you may think I'm a car snob, but I'm not. I've driven my share of entry-levels cars: the 10 year old Honda Civic was my first car, then I moved on to a brand-spanking new Ford Escort for the 500 mile drive to college. I just think there's something silly in tricking out an entry-level car. I mean, you're investing all this money in cheezy lights so people know you're driving a Focus, when you could invest the money instead and buy yourself a nicer car in another year.

If anyone who has a tricked out car cares to comment, please do. Tell me about all the hot chicks you're getting, and how they like the shocker.

8 comments:

Maddy said...

Now you're just trying to confuse the aliens aren't you huh! We foreigners all know about no dicker stickers and 'fully loaded' these are the only terms we currently need or require with reference to cars.
Anyway a country that names their cars after a potato, are a very odd lot in my opinion e.g. Idaho, and don't tell me it's the name of a State, potatoes were here [especially here] before States were.
Cheers dearies

Anonymous said...

"how do you know this, Laura?"

Laura said...

How do I know about the childish whine, Gregor? Hmm, just earlier today, when I was attempting to speed Harrison up so he would get in the car so we could go pick up Hutton from speech therapy, and he pulled out the whining, "I can't get in the car seat!" I told him that the direct effect of whining was to turn Mommy into a bitch. Yes, I told my 2 1/2 year old that when he whined, it made me a bitch. I quickly decided that wasn't a good thing to teach him, so I changed it to, "Please don't whine, it makes Mommy mean." Yeah, mean, that's it. I'm not a bitch at all, Harrison.

Laura said...

The above is in response to "ask me how I know this" I posted on Gregor's blog about how the "childish whine" made someone saying they can't do something you know they can even worse.

Laura said...

Mcewen, I'm assuming you're talking about the Yukon? I was trying to think up a name of a potato that also was a car. I think GM was going for the rugged Yukon territory of Canada, but for those who think potatoes first when they hear Yukon - yeah, I don't think GM thought about that! When I think potato, I don't think of rugged SUVs. I think sour cream and chives. Or chips (crisps). Or fries (again, chips) Yummy.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Ha!

Some believe that the state of Idaho was named after a steamship. And some believe that Idaho originated from the local Native Americans living in that territory. While other believe it was named as the result of a hoax...from someone who made up the word Idaho.

However the phrase "Idaho Potato" is a protected 'mark' in US under the certification mark law and the actual potato is a russet burbank named after it's grower Luther Burbank.

The BFF Potato Googler

Laura said...

I had no idea you knew so much about potatoes, or Idaho for that matter! I'll never look at Luther Burbank park in the same way again, though - it will all be potatoes now. I feel there should be a Dan Quayle joke in here somewhere.

Kim Rossi Stagliano said...

From this I know. I learned to drive on...(drumroll) a 1976 Cadillac Coupe DeVille. Black. With red leather interior. Red Pinstripes. Whitewall tires. Fancy spoke wheels and a genyooine leather roof. Oh yeah - and the Caddy hood ornament. Complete with a trumpet horn. Tony had a built in trash can, the first scan/seek radio I'd ever seen and auto headlights. You docked that baby, you didn't park it. And the back seat, larger than most Manhattan apartments with padded leather sides? Shall we say "pass the spermicidal contraceptives won't you darling?" God I miss "Tony". I still have the keys to him on a red leather keychain with a tarnished gold K in my glovebox. Tricked out indeed. Oh yes, we ARE Italian....

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